Have you had a CT scan before?

That was the question the tech asked me this morning as I skip-walked with her back to the scan prep area. I like to skip-walk because it makes me feel like a kid.

"Yes," I told the obviously-not-Vince tech, "I've had every kind of scan you've got," which is probably true unless they do some sort of trans-vaginal ultrasounds down in the former bomb shelter that is the Radiology department.

Next came a few words you never want to hear. "This is Heather, she's a nursing student who is observing today." Observing would be fine, but we all know what's coming, right?

"Heather, we need to draw labs, would you like to TRY it?". Uh-oh, this is going to leave a mark. "It's just the pin prick kind, Mr. Beskind, it won't hurt a bit." I agree it shouldn't hurt, but I extend my non-writing hand just in case.

Heather responds by grabbing my writing hand, and preparing my middle finger for pricking as if she were getting the last few drops out of the teet of her favorite bovine. She grabs one of the spring-loaded finger prick thingies and SNAP - misfires before it touches my finger.

Attempt # 2, finger contact along the edge of my engorged digit and SNAP. A glancing blow. The tiniest drop of blood ever tries to bubble its way out. "I don't know what's wrong with me today," says Heather with a slight quiver in her voice. Neither do I, Heather, but I'm beginning to care.

Third time's the charm. SNAP! A direct hit allows the release of a man-sized dollop of vein juice. Heather smears it on some sort of reader and hands it back to she-who-is-actually-getting-paid-to-be-here. They depart momentarily, then return with an IV kit.

Hell to the no, as the kids might say. Heather's not continuing her training on my arm, even if I do have  veins the size of small rivers.

Fortunately. the tech and I agree on this point, and the IV insertion goes without incident, as does the rest of the scan. I'll be at Dr. Z's tomorrow and will report any news right here. Stay tuned!