One Week In

Actually, today is Day 10 in trial-speak. I received my first dose last Tuesday, my final dose of week 1 on Monday, so now we're on Day 10. The trial itself remains uneventful. I've felt more fatigue than I had been, and that's probably attributable to the trial drug. Otherwise, I haven't had any of the things they appear to be looking out for - fevers, nausea, funky colors in my phlegm, etc. I'll start dosing again next Tuesday.

Dr Z. saw me yesterday and thinks I'm looking better - which is not exactly scientific proof that the drug is working, but it's better than him saying I looked like crap after the first week. My lungs sound clear to him as well. Despite that, I do still have a cough. It's not a productive one, just one of those coughs that happens when you open your mouth to speak and the words aren't ready to come out yet. My words have stage fright, so they send a little cough out first to make sure it's OK.

This is not to say that all is rosy in my world. The 4 weeks off of treatment between my last chemo and my first trial appears to have given the cancer a little breathing room (pun intended) and it has begun to explore around my chest. The result is some pain when I have the aforementioned coughs, along with any sneezes, belches, and even the where-the-hell-did-that-come-from gasps that occasionally surprise me and anyone within earshot. The good news is the pain isn't constant - it's just a quick stab then it's gone.

The bad news is it's pain. Pain is what I fear most about this journey. I can handle nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, sleeplessness. night sweats, etc. In fact I have handled all of those, sometimes in combination. There are meds to ward off the pain, and I'm not trying to be a hero by avoiding them. But there is a balance between diving into a narcotic haze and being 100% alert at all times. I'm still working full time, and I owe it to my employer and myself to function as close to capacity as I can. I also prefer to be alert during family time, for obvious reasons.

So I try to limit my pain med intake to something less than the max dosage allowed on the bottle. Maybe one every 8 hours instead of 4-6. Sure, there are days when I might be watching the clock creep ever so slowly toward the 4 hour mark, but thankfully those days are rare.

We're hoping the new drug will start to have some effect on the cancer cells relatively soon, and some of these painful spots will go back to being unheard from. Until then, the pharmacy remains open...