Myles - by Stuart Brown

Goodbye to Myles – A celebration of Family by Stuart Brown

My beloved Grandmother, Sylvia, may she rest in peace, had a saying that I took to heart. “Don’t get your honey where you get your money.” Luckily Myles didn’t follow this sage advice or he would never have dated Marcie (or a few others). He would have ended up on the 80’s version of J-Date drinking Tab and listening to Vanilla Ice or watching Cosby. And their union gave us their three wonderful children.

Marcie asked for a celebration of Myles’ life with happy and funny memories. So many memories come to mind but I will call out just a few.

As mentioned earlier, Myles had a side to him that could get others in trouble. Like the time Myles and I “borrowed” a four-foot long stuffed Mackerel from a bar. We finally returned it after about four months at Myles’ suggestion, not mine. The time Myles got so annoyed by a grasshopper on his dashboard that he crashed his car into the car in front of him at a stop light. His answering machine messages. As everyone well knows, Myles had an unbelievable sense of humor so I got three years of great message when we lived together. If you don’t know it, he did the best Katherine Hepburn impression of anyone that I know.

And the best Passover of my life was with Myles at Arnold and Sandy’s. I grew up reform and Myles helped teach me more about being Jewish and family which carries in me to this day.
But there are also his traits that I want to celebrate and try to emulate. First, Myles carried himself with more Dignity than I can imagine. I spoke earlier with one of his work colleagues about his grace under pressure. I wish I had that. Second, Myles’ Conviction. People spoke earlier about his running and his push. You have to have unbelievable to Conviction to have fought cancer and come clean twice. To have written a book. Last – Humor. With humor comes humility and we’ve laughed a lot already at a number of stories. Dignity. Conviction. Humor. He has passed these on to Ali, Adam and Josh and they will live in them. Ali, remember when people call you “bossy” you got these great traits from your dad. And, to steal from Sheryl Sandberg, you should just respond that you are exhibiting executive leadership skills.

I read Welcome to the Cancer Club when it came out. Myles disproved the theory that cancer can’t be funny. In the book, Myles talks about being a MOTC. For those of you here that don’t know what a MOTC is, you should go buy the book. Myles would want Marcie to have the royalties. You can read the book in one bathroom visit – after a dose of Imodium apparently.

I haven’t has much contact as I would like in recent years. I was uncomfortable for me to talk about cancer. In the book though Myles wrote about this problem. And also what not to say when someone tells you they have cancer. “Aunt Susie had cancer. That reminds me that I have to make a contribution in her honor.”
“You can beat this. But just in case, can I have dibs on your porn collection.” Sorry to hear that. Can you send me back my Hummel catalog.” Which is apparently a true story of his Aunt Zelda. Marcie, that reminds me that Myles took our collection of glasses stolen from Limerick Junction if I could get those back...

At the back of his book, Myles refers back to his luck in 1991 when Marcie was assigned to work for him at the firm where we all worked. To quote “She hated him. But a few months and more than a few drinks later, things had improved.” I remember Marcie telling me that Myles “is such a jerk.” So much for first impressions. They were married two years later in 1993 – May 30, 1993 to be exact.
And now, 21 years and many memories later, we say goodbye to Myles. But after he helped build a great family which will carry on his Dignity, Convection and Humor.

He was a close fried. We will laugh and we will cry at his memory.
I am glad that neither Myles nor Marcie lived by my grandmother’s rule so we can celebrate the family and love that it created.