So, I um, have this friend. And he recently got some news about having cancer, so, you know, I was wondering, if you could, you know, help my, um, friend out.
My running friends are just starting to hear that one of the really good guys in our midst recently learned he has cancer. He has a bunch of tests lined up next week that will help determine what the road ahead looks like. I've already talked to him and he's got a great attitude, exactly what I expect from the guy who I first met in a van during a 200 mile relay race in Oregon. "We're in it to WIN IT!" I recall this seemingly mild-mannered runner exclaim as we rumbled down the road towards Seaside.
So if you're one of this guy's friends, let me coach you a bit on how to handle it next time you see him. Avoid eye contact, pretend there's nothing wrong, and take advantage of his diminished energy level to finally beat him in a race.
Wait, that's all wrong. Let's try again.
It's OK to say "I heard, and that sucks." It's also OK to say "I'm sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis" or similar words. In fact it's OK to say just about anything, although you do risk making onto his list of stupidest things people said to me when they heard I had cancer. What's important is to be supportive, as so many of you have been to me over the years since my first go round.
Support means lots of things. Encouraging words, slightly inappropriate eCards, a donation to a charity, a meal. For a runner, it might mean slowing down a bit on a long run a few months from now so he can keep up. Although knowing this guy as I do, that may not be an issue at all.
See you out there on the road, my friend!
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